


L'amour tojuours

by Miss_Kitten



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 13:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11381139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Kitten/pseuds/Miss_Kitten
Summary: Reader makes a mistake and starts berating herself for it, thinking she's not good enough. Lucifer shows up at her place, ready to comfort her and assure her that what may appear perfect isn't always that.





	L'amour tojuours

The room is way too dark to see a thing, so you blindly reach for a blanket, draped over the back of the couch. You don’t want to turn on the lights. It’s easier to bear yourself when you can’t see anything.

Although, truthfully, if you could just walk away from yourself, leave your body, you would. You’ve messed up, made a mistake, failed everyone. Again. And you start to grow tired of being a disappointment. 

You don’t know how you managed to mess up something you did a hundred times before, yet somehow, miraculously, you did and it caused Chloe trouble. She had to waste more time, while she could’ve been working on a newly found lead. But no, you had to go and screw up and Chloe got mad.

You don’t blame her – if you were in her place, you would react the same way. Luckily, Lucifer wasn’t there, so you were spared shameful scolding in front of your boyfriend. Though, you are sure that, by now, Chloe told him about your stupid mistake.

And yeah, Chloe was the one to introduce you to Lucifer and set you two on a date, and it only makes your failure harder to cope with. Not only have you failed Chloe, Lucifer will be disappointed, too. He put faith in you, you were aware of that, and now, you’ve only proven that you were no match for him.

Damn, you can’t even find a reason as to why he chose to be with you. You’re not beautiful, nor super clever, just an average girl who got extremely lucky that a man like Lucifer picked her from a crowd of better-looking and smarter women.

You wrap yourself tightly in the blanket, sniffing. You didn’t want to cry but once you sat down, tears started falling from your eyes and you couldn’t stop them. now, as the new wave of them threaten to burst out, you  bring your knees to your chest, lower your head, resting your forehead on your bended knees and let yourself cry your sadness and shame out.

Hopefully, Lucifer will go to his apartment, not yours. He didn’t text or call you, and you were too upset to contact him. You can’t imagine how you’ll look into his eyes after being so stupid.  

You sob, covering your head with your arms, trying to reduce yourself to a smaller from. Maybe this way nobody will see you, maybe this way it will be easier to swallow the shame and somehow slur over it.

Minutes gradually turn into hours and the only thing that changes is the volume of your crying. It got down to silent whines, your voice tired and coarse, your eyes red and stinging and your only wish becomes disappearing whatsoever. It’s impossible but it doesn’t stop from wanting for it to happen, more so because soon enough Lucifer will come to you and see you, an image of absolute despair. You’re sure he won’t understand, he won’t be able to get why you’re so distraught – even if he does something seemingly foolish, it will most likely wind up well. He doesn’t mess up.

Unlike you. The conclusion is simple – you just don’t go together, you don’t deserve him.

Desperate to shut down your thoughts, you cover your ears with your palms, that scathing, cruel voice in your ear never stopping muttering. Without thinking about it, you begin to rock back and forth.

And this is what Lucifer sees as he enters your apartment. Once his eyes get used to the darkness, he makes out your frame, moving in a rocking motion, your head lowered and your hands almost clawing around your ears. His heart stirs as he quickly realizes what caused this.

The mistake you made did, obviously, result in a bit more work to do but Chloe and Lucifer managed to quickly move past it. Sure, Chloe shouldn’t have bark at you for that but she was tired of the case, wanting to solve it as soon as possible.

Lucifer was convinced that you understood it. He didn’t contact you only because he thought you were still busy or didn’t need him, considering no messages from you, yet when he waited for you at his place and tried to reach you, only to find out that your phone ran out of battery, he arrived in no time.

And now, he regrets that he didn’t do it sooner. It was evident that you have been staying in that position for a very long time.

He inhales deeply and carefully moves closer to you. You don’t move, don’t say anything, you flinch only when you feel someone’s presence next to you.

“Y/N,” Lucifer’s gentle voice sounds by your side and you sniff, whimpering quietly. He came to scold you, why else would he be here?

“Please, look at me, darling,” he pleas and you lift your head, although too ashamed to look directly at him. You keep your eyes fixed at your knees, your hands folded on your feet.

“Y/N, I’m sure glad that you see my face in everything, but I would rather if you really looked at me,” he tries to joke, but it only results in a sudden tightening in your stomach at the thought of letting him down.

“I can’t,” you admit meekly, squeezing your eyes shut to prevent new tears from falling.

“Why is that? I won’t yell at you, love.”

“But I did something wrong today.”

“Baby, it was nothing, believe me!” he gingerly takes your hand in his, stroking your knuckles. You dare look at him – your eyes filled with sadness and uncertainty.

“It was a beginner’s mistake, it shouldn’t have happened, I was-“

“No, you better stop there, darling. I’m letting you speaking lowly of yourself,” Lucifer says sternly, successfully closing your mouth. You pout and Lucifer silently motions the two of you, laying you against his chest, his arms wrapping around you protectively, your head resting on his shoulder.

“I know that you love your job and want to be the best of it. But we all sometimes have bad days. We all make mistakes, Y/N.”

“You don’t. You’re always perfect, always dressed up, always coming out with great ripostes, always helpful and useful, and I… what can I even offer you, Lucifer? Really? What’s so special about me?”

“Baby…” he pants, his eyes widening at your question. He can never believe that you think of you in such a way. That you’re not worthy, that you’re not enough.

“Well, for starters, your eyes – I never cease to get lost in them and I don’t think I want it to stop. They’re beautiful, just as you are. Then, your lips – so sweet when I kiss them, but even sweeter when you smile or talk to me about whatever you fancy. How passionate you are about your job, or your interest. I never met anyone so hyped about their work as you are, you even beat Detective on that, sweetheart” he chuckles, placing a kiss on the top of your head and you nuzzle into him, the warmth of his body, seeping into yours.

“But what’s the most important is that you saw thought me, through all of my antics and jokes, got to the core and still loved me. You dug the real me out and still didn’t run away. You stayed, despite me being a prick sometimes.”

“You’re not that bad, Lucifer.”

“Well, my dear Y/N, I do think that out of us, I’m the beast. You’re my Belle. Clever, driven, and so very lovely… and, I… there’s something I want to show you.”

“Oh, there’s something I haven’t seen?” you tilt your head to gaze at him, his expression insecure and you feel dread washing though you. He never looked so unsettled.

“No, I managed to keep it hidden, although you might’ve scratched it a few times,” he winks at you, but it doesn’t do anything to the tension that’s suddenly hanging in the air.

Lucifer sits up and you do the same, watching confused as he begins to unbutton his shirt and get rid of it. You’ve seen him naked, what else can be there that you haven’t looked at?  

You open your mouth, wanting to tell something, but Lucifer cuts you off by showing you his palm.

“You think I am flawless, and it flatters me, Y/N, it really does. But I want to show you that even perfection has crevices”, he states and slowly turns around, his back being in front of you right now.

At first you don’t notice anything out of ordinary there. Frankly, you’ve touched his back a lot, scratched even and you didn’t stumbled upon anything different.

But as the light of a car that drives past your window glides over Lucifer’s back, two scars become visible and you gasp.

“How come I never noticed?” you mumble, gently sliding your fingers over them and Lucifer shivers.

“You were occupied with something else, baby.”

“True, but I often saw you shirtless.”

“I made to sure to always show you my chest. Didn’t want to scare you away.”

“You think that something like that can scare me?” you scoff and, as an emphasize of your point, you lean in and press a kiss to each scar.

Lucifer cautiously moves around, coming face to face with you. His gaze is full of adoration and fondness and he cradles your face. This time, is his turn to lean in, kissing each of your cheeks over and over, until no evidence of your tears is left.     

“Y/N, I know you have insecurities. I showed you mine. And you showed me yours. And I’m not scared of them. Frankly, it’s my job to destroy them. But I won’t be able to do that if you don’t believe in how amazing you truly are.”

“No, I-“

“Yes, you are, Y/N. You’re my angel, my wonderful sunshine, and I won’t stop loving you only because one tiny, itty bitty mistake you made. Do you want to talk about it?”

You shake your head, too exhausted to keep moving your mouth.

“So, a hot bath, massage and cuddles?”

“Sounds about perfect,” you mutter and Lucifer smiles, brushing his lips again yours in a chaste kiss.

“I love you, Lucifer, you whisper, affectionately rubbing your nose against his.

“I love you more.”

“No, I love you most.”

“No, Y/N, I love you the most-est! Uh-uh, no arguing, you can’t top that.”

And with that, another very important feature of Lucifer’s makes appearance.

Even in the darkest days, he can make you smile.


End file.
